Fifty Birthday Candles and Teaching the Blind
60I have reached the age where it doesn't matter.
What age is that? Frankly, it's none of your business. People who worry about age will tell you, "Age is how you feel." Yeah, right.
People who are older than they want to be say, "Age is a state of mind." Yeah, right.
Age is age. It's an objective chronological, factual statistic. So what?
My family birth order gave me an advantage. I was the baby of a bunch of girl cousins. Some years ago, attending a family wedding, one of my "elderly" 40-ish cousins asked me how it felt to always be the "baby."
I said with a hint of "last laughter," "Sometimes it wasn't so great. But now . . . It's All Right!" My mom and dad always looked younger than their contemporaries, so I never thought about aging much until I hit 50. Fifty is a very "fat" number, and though I was still doing the same things I did at 49, it seemed for the first time -- different.
Shortly after that anniversary, somehow disfigured by the phrases "half century," "golden anniversary" and the ever popular "over the hill," I was working as a substitute teacher in a special-education class. I had been there a few times before, and was acquainted with the kids in the group.
We sat in a circle on the floor, trading jokes and riddles (technically: an orderly, educational, verbal, sharing,cooperative exchange exercise.) One of them asked me how old I was. In a moment of vulnerability I blurted "Fifty."
They immediately laughed and rocked back and forth as if I were continuing the jokes and riddles. Though greatly flattered and encouraged, somehow I felt obliged to insist on the facts. "I'm Fifty," I repeated somewhat desperately, though I could hardly believe it myself.
They remained unconvinced, so I asked them how old they thought I was (expecting, maybe, 90). The general consensus was "about thirty-five," which I accepted with glee, laughter and my own rocking back and forth.
When I have related this story to acquaintances, they have regarded it with some suspicion -- until I revealed that this was the "visually impaired" class, most of them very bright -- but totally blind -- children.
It certainly would have been a major compliment to have been judged 15 years younger by a sighted class (no way!), but pondering the experience, I realized that it was more of a compliment to have been judged not by my appearance -- but by my attitude and interaction.
I could sit on the floor and laugh at silly jokes with them, and it made me younger. Perhaps we all taught each other something about perception. I once had someone tell me that I probably got along well with children because I never grew up. I don't think it was meant as a compliment at the time, but I have learned to take it as such, because it is partly true. I hope it always will be.
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Me too-- I didn't say when these things happened did I ? (I know I am at least five years older than you.)
Every "zero" birthday is the BIG ONE, then the next morning you wake up and all your parts still work, and you aren't in a Home, so you get dressed and go off to work as usual, amazed that nobody says "Gawwwwd, you look ancient!", and life goes on.
People I know far younger than myself who just creak around like they're 90 infuriate me. Refuse to DO anything. "Why bother?" they say. "Won't be around much longer anyway". Then there's my 80-something cousin who's always going places and still doing most of the things he did in his 40's. So age IS a state of mind.
I actually agree with that.
As one who passed this milestone a couple of years ago, and can TOTALLY relate, I tend to believe those fitness commercials that I've heard: "70 is the new 50, and 50 is the new 30!"
To add insult to injury, my oldest daughter had the audacity to recently make me a grandma!
Seriously, if I knew then what I know now.....;)
Ah Pam, Grandparenthood is the best! Congratulations! Lots of good things are still to come for you.
Cute hub Rochelle:) I (three years ago) hit the big 3-0 and thought my life was over. Not literally..lol..but then I had another baby at 32, that really made me feel old. But truthfully, starting at age 28 I began to set myself on "crisis mode" and never got out of it until 32...I did that to myself mostly, but aging can be difficult. Especially at the decade milestones, for some reason we negate the years in between and focus on what we'll do in the next decade. But that does seem to work for most of us, doesn't it? lol..Some may struggle for a bit around the decade turn, but I think each time we hit one, we grow.
Great hub:)
MissJamieD. I don't know how you found this, it has been buried for a long time. Thanks for digging it up again.
lol...I wanted to read some of your stuff, it's on your profile page:) Nice to see you again!
This is a gem, Rochelle! I totally agree with you. Fifty is a very round number. And it is very different from 49 (or 40 "something" which covers a whole lot of territory). there is no 50 "something" counterpart, is there?
Loved the surprise that your class was judging you by your actions and attitude rather than your appearance. That is LOVELY!
Thanks, MM. It greatly encouraged me. (I'll have to say that those kids were very perceptive.)
i´m 50 and feel so fine sometimes i think you're all joking... what's about being 50? much better than been 20 or 30: no kids, much more dignity than vanity, more piece and quite than before, more experience. is there anybody feeling the way i do?
Yes, I feel the same way . . . and this incident happened a loooong time ago. Thanks for your comment. "Piece and quite"-- that's cute.
Hi Rochelle, I am turning 50 very soon and found your hub both humorous and educational at the same time. Since I have never "looked" my age, I have never worried about it, but now that I will soon be able to say, "I have lived half a century!" my age has taken on new relevance. (smile) Thanks for helping me keep the number in its place.
I think it's a bit silly to worry about things you can't control--like the number. Keep yourself healthy, and laugh.
Hello, Rochelle. Thanks for a fun hub.
Whenever I am asked the secret to looking young I recite the following:
1 - Exercise every day.
2 - Eat healthy food.
3 - Hang around with older people. Works for me.
Perfect advice. I agree with all three. Being the youngest of a bunch of cousins, I was always the "baby". It was tough for awhile, but it got better and better each year.
Rochelle, I honestly think NO ONE "looks their age" these days. Most people think of over-50's as "seniors", and picture us wearing a cardigan and forgetting our dentures. In reality, few of us look like that any more.
I felt very smug at 50, because I was still looking good and my figure was still in good shape. I'm now halfway to 60 and it's all fallen apart. So don't get too comfortable!
Marissa, Your dancing probably was a big factor in keeping you young.
I never figured out how to judge people as a certain age. I don't think of over 50's as seniors-- I'm, closing in on 70. I wear mostly blue jeans and tee-shirts, and have my own teeth.
I think I am in better physical shape than I was ten years ago so I am still pretty comfortable, but I take nothing for granted. It can all change in an instant.
I'm always inspired by your hubs, and deeply appreciate your response.
( I also have one on being 60-- but I can't remember what I wrote thre at this moment. ...Age?, probably not.)
I'm glad this hub popped back up - great story!
Hi Dineane-- Where y'all been? (Is that correct grammar?) I am very pleased you read this. I loved working with the blind kids. It was very educational. I wrote another hub on the subject. I think it was "Out of my Elephant" or something similar.
Hope you and your mom are well. I owe a lot to her (DonnaCSmith) for introducing me to HubPages.
That was enjoyable. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for commenting, samboiam. Forgive my late response.
This one rings a bit closer to home.
It is not MY age that marks time, it is the AGES of my children. Man, are they getting up there!
I know what you mean about the "kids"-- but you are right, it look a whole lot different from the other side.
More people should be blind . . . well, I mean in relation to what they might see at first glance.
I thank you for commenting-- as this is one of my favorite teaching (and learning) experiences.
Very nice. I shared this on our Facebook group, Not So Old Broads :)
Thank you, UV. Seems like a lot of people are turning 50. I appreciate the share.
Sorry Uninvited Writer, I made you UV instead of UW-- must have been out in the sun too long today.
Hey Rochelle, thanks for the great hub. I turned 50 last year, and have decided that this will be the best decade of my life so far.
In the immortal words of Shakespeare:
'Age cannot wither her nor custom stale her infinite variety'
It is a great age, and a great decade. I think we are much better off than previous generations of the same age, with more opportunities, more access to information, more 'variety' and generally better health than many who came before.
Thanks for commenting, CMHypno.
"Age is a state of the mind." Absolutely true! When I turned 60, I called myself a "senior debutante" not a senior citizen. Since then I searched for day to day challenges (to prevent my mind from disintegrating, I hate those senior moments to overcome me). I was ushered into a new challenging world, the first of which was my plunge into the internet that gave rise to 3 of my websites.
I meet friends online and I'm glad I have found you, Rochelle, a "baby" in your family.
Thanks, Lita. We have choices about some things. About others, we do not. Keep up the good work.
DonnaCSmith Level 1 Commenter 3 years ago
Fifty seems young to me;o)